Flip-flop hommicide

I haven't posted anything in a while, mostly because I've been busy, and partly because I've been faced with severe writer's block. I've even stopped reading. Instead, on my two-hour long commutes, I just stare out the window and get lost in early summer daydreams.
It's the time of year when shit starts to grow out of the ground and people are starting to dress down: guys are starting to wear flip-flops, which, frankly, I find downright wrong.
Don't wear jeans and flip-flops because it provokes me to want to push you into traffic, something which I could do quite easily considering your balance is somehwat compromised due to overpriced sheet of rubber under your feet that barely provides any protection.
If you do wear flip-flops, please go to a beach within five minutes of you walking out of your house. My favorite daydream is to take one of your American Eagle sandals and smack you across tyhe face repeatedly - not hard, but just enough to annoy you as much as you annoy me with your uncared for toes and your stinky toe jam.
Be warned, Abercrombie and Fitch enthusiasts, your days of casual footwear are numbered. As you sink lower and lower into your pseudo-metrosexuality, I grow angrier and angrier. If the streets were made of lava, you'd look mighty stupid. Wear some fucking sneakers and be gone with your bad habits.